On Hiatus

I haven't tended to this site in quite a while. Not because I gave up on it. Or because I don't want to pay attention to it. It is because of the disorderliness of life and the failings of the human beings that are part of my life. When I am doing the majority of the things that basically take all day to do, then there is not much time in the day to do other things. I am too busy doing what I HAVE to do instead of being able to have some time to unwind and do something fun that I actually like doing. I mean who wants to take care of a child while the mom is happily working on something on the computer that she likes doing? Babysitters are actually rather useless. Even if they are told what to do, they don't do it. Or they will do it in a sloppy way.....so badly done that you wish you had never asked them. So badly done, you end up wondering how they could be so dumb. The husband will do the SAME thing. Often, I wonder if the husband does it on purpose so I won't ask him to do it again.

I can't do things badly. I have to do them well, or not at all. I can't do something poorly unless I am unwell and don't have the energy to do so. I had kidney stone surgery a few years ago, and it was very painful to deal with it. Sometimes, I had the normal energy to do things. At other times, I had to lay down. But, even when I was laying down, I was filled with pain. The husband couldn't get the child in the bedroom before midnight. I was much more relieved when I left on the plane for about week to see my mom and dad. I took my child with me of course, but it was much better at the hotel than at "home". It was all one floor, and it wasn't a huge house. So, it was much easier to get around and do things in the small hotel room. It was painful driving from the airport to the hotel though. Over an hour drive. I had to stop halfway because of the pain. But we needed to eat anyways. So, it worked out.

After we moved from NJ to Virginia, it has just been a disorganized mess. The husband misplaced my car advertisement, so I lost traffic to my site and possbile book sales. I didn't have time to go online and order a new one. He also lost the books I had available for sale. I don't know where they are in the rooom of boxes in the basement. I remember seeing the box when we moved in, but he took it and ran away with it to who knows where. Then I got distracted by something and forgot to chase after him. I don't think he would have remembered where he put it anyways.

Life is a mess for now and I can't get back to doing what I would like to do. However, I keep holding out hope that I will eventually be able to get back to it. However, I need the help of someone else. I can not do it all....no one can. If anyone says that are doing fine doing it all, it is a lie. Don't believe them. It isn't possible.